Am I comedic or am I serious?
Rehearsing on my own… (what’s the point?)
I’m going to be honest, this has been one of the hardest challenges I have ever faced as both a actor and writer. (That is no small understatement.) I have found myself both hating and loving this process and I honestly think that is the beauty in this subject. Yes you’re on your own and yes it’s daunting but the overall process of what you learn about yourself as an actor, writer and director is priceless, I have found myself making creative choices in terms of my own acting and my overall subject matter. I have gone from being overly serious in acting to trying one of a more comedic nature, and honestly I think comedy will always win as often it is the format that a once passive spectator can get behind and allow themselves to put their guard down. I think weirdly I should exploit this, not with stupid ideas but ones of a more practical nature that look like they have taken little thought however have taken long, overdrawn planning. Maybe the ideas I have currently around boredom or procrastination.
After talking to Martian I face one real problem “STOP BLOODY ACTING!” it is easier said than done. We all as scholars and students come from a background where we are constantly told to act and how to act, this module and process is different from anything I have ever done before. Yes granted most solo performers are themselves while on stage and this should be endorsed and applauded and is evident from such past and presently admired artists like Spalding Grey and Simon Callow or Tim Crouch (These are people I mention because I admire them) I think the real problem of solo performance as a artist making theatre alone is self judgement or trying to be perfect at everything you do. Honestly everything you do is a action that will either hinder or break a developing show. (You really can’t tell yourself to fuck off or by god do a better, because let’s be honest it’s just you… so what is the point.) Talking with Martian allowed me a clearer perspective on my overall concept, if I’m honest it was rough to sarcastic and a little boring… it needs re-writing or maybe completely turned over. I think previously I uploaded a working script however I will re-check this.
I think my real problem among the multitude of problems I seem to have is am I comedic or serious? Do I want to entertain or inform, or simply do I just want to put on a provocative piece,
“quite frankly, fuck genres. Fuck art form divisions. Let’s talk to, and learn from one another.” (Nicklin, 2012).
I think the honest answer is I want to do both, both educate and inform while still maintaining a light atmosphere. This maybe something I need to explore in future drafts. Martian had me re-read certain lines from my script and I think this honestly helped as it was interesting to read my work out loud and see if my work had any affect on those listening. (Weirdly it did.) I currently seem to be overacting and I think through continual re-writes and self directing or maybe working with someone else namely Billy I get gauge a honest reaction to what I can achieve in my own developing solo performance. I also think that I need to allow myself some time for improvising within my work while on stage as it can create completely unforeseen moments that can be exploited on stage.
I think I should also explore my own opening as at the moment I feel this is one element that is the most important and sets the overall tone of the piece.
Future updates to follow.
To give you an idea of one of my working scripts I have written it below.
…
OBJECTS OUT THERE. (working script.)
I feel like a object.
Not an important object, an everyday object.
Gestures to the floor.
Trapped.
Observed.
Never really understood.
I feel like the light hidden in the fridge. Who is it for? Do fridges even need lights?
I thought carrots made you see in the dark. I’m trapped like the last dregs in a cup; ready to be swalloed or thrown away. I’m like IKEA a wasteland of wood , regret and complex or missing instructions. Part A does not connect to part B, and C just fucked off with that new mahogany bedside table. I’m a bedside table.
Takes a moment.
I belong to IKEA. My room that’s where you will find me… My room. I’m not alone, we are never alone when there is so many of us. I’m like trying to explain reality T.V to an alien: The reference points just aren’t there.
:Objects and maybe sky transitions.
I want to tell you something. You sat out there in the dark. I want to bring into the light… My light. You are these objects, yes all of them, even the most useless utensil out there. How often does this get used? Do I even know what this does? I’m middle aged.
Picks up random object.
Don’t panic… words to live by. Bliss lies on the over side of crushing, crushing boredom. Pay close attention to the most tedious thing you can think of […] and in waves a boredom like you’ve never known [it] will wash over you, and just about kill you. Fuck… I’ve left one of these on I know it.
Switch in character to someone who resembles a teacher.
Avoidance of doing a task which needs to be accomplished: it is itself the practice of doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones. This is the definition of procrastination. I’m talking to random objects in my bedroom. It is not as if the kettle is going to answer me back, all it does is make shit cups of tea.
Goes over and begins turning random objects one: Each time a story is told the light spreads wider.
I was young, younger than I care to remember. I was stupid and stereo-typically naive. Like many others I was alone. The sun, I remember the sun. It was hot not burn on your face hot but pleasant and I was waiting for someone, something… Impossible. I was going to see her again. She was dead… I knew that but I was going to see her again. I looked up… I always looked up. The clouds parted and I was still alone. I had always been told on a bright day when the clouds look like crystal white ice-shards and they part, revealing a glimpse into the sky’s beyond… I would see he… I…
Objects they all have warranties. No one expects a toaster to explode. Or a whisk to break mid-use. However we know no matter the price tag… Things eventually break.
The light spreads a little wider.
…
My thoughts on this draft.
I think this draft has several potential problems, one why am I saying this and is it really worth saying. Granted when Martian was reading my very first draft there was the odd chuckle of laughter here and there, overall he seemed to react in a positive manner however for me this script has one looming issues. Let’s be honest if I am a actor and I don’t enjoy what I am performing what is the point of doing it.
I don’t think the writing is bad overall I just personally feel that I as writer and actor can do better, it is missing several beats concerning performance visuals. It needs to be bigger and it needs to play to my strengths, I.e. sarcasm and whit (if I can say that) I also feel this script could get the occasional chuckle but honestly I really don’t see the point.
I also feel after talking to Martian that within my developing style that my story is simply not strong enough to need a solo performance, granted within it there is a highly personal story hidden only to me (the part about the clouds parting, it sounds strange to admit) but I don’t think that is what my performance should be. Most solo performers use some form of autobiographical content within their work and this is no different for me, however I am not prepared to bare my soul on stage on stage for the sake of a sympathetic script. I think a re-write is in order so that I can convey a more light-hearted approach to my work.
Works Cited.
Nicklin, H. (2012) “Music and theatre should belong to nobody, everybody.” – Hannah Nicklin compared ‘DIY’ music with ‘DIY’ theatre. I Live Sweat. Available from http://ilivesweat.tumblr.com/post/13838799382/music-and-theatre-should-belong-to-nobody [accessed 12 May 2016].